Yesterday marked the end of my freshman year
Well not technically because there is still the last posting
Mixed feelings
Bittersweet memories
Goodbye wasn't hard, we all departed in a happy way after feasting at Seoul Garden
I must say I have been tremendously blessed
To have pleasant classmates
To have been under compassionate and gracious mentors <3
To not get debarred
To be rejected by JH which I really am thankful for, though it did bother me for a period of time
To land myself in an unfortunate situation I would had done anything to avoid, it opened my eyes and made me realised how words from someone I've met for only 20 minutes can have such an impact
Note to self: Be careful of the words used, words really do cut deeper than any blade
It still stings
Cannot envision two tougher years ahead of me, be sure of it when I say I cannot I really can't
Furthermore with new people akin to a new environment
It makes everything more alarming and intimidating
In disfavour of finding my place again
I chose this path out of my own will but I've been thinking
It is unjustifiable for an adolescent to be conscious of what she really wants to achieve in life
I need action, give me thrills, I want to be a free spirited person
No regrets yet though only thoughts
I want to live in the countryside and be a farmer where my friends will be the animals, they won't able able to speak English but will still be able to communicate with me nonetheless
But, beyond the bounds of possibility
My eyesight is deteriorating I can sense it
Time is so very precious
Countdown
I am left with 3 days to recuperate before attachment
20 days before I pay a visit at Clinic B in the late afternoon I think
On tenterhooks
What if? What do I do now? How come? Is this really what God want for me? Is this my punishment? Why me? Why do I allow money to be thrown away? What if it fails? Didn't Jesus supposedly handled everything at the cross? Is my life something to be played with?
Bizarre unanswered questions accumulating
No one will fully understand till they go through a similar situation
If there is no progression I will make an exhaustive decision and look forward to better days
Others have it tougher
Trust God no matter what, right?
When I go to heaven none of this will matter, ultimately I will be abandoning everything, and be given a new body
Correct me if I am incorrect
Getting poor results is akin to a death sentence here in my home country
Why is that so?
Youtube advertisements are annoying me
Feeling lost in my own mind
I don't know what I am writing
Present time is 1:10 AM
21 Guns by Green Day is playing
Does that explain anything?
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